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Irish Jokes

One afternoon, Pat met Mick, whom he hadn't seen for quiet some time. After chatting for a while, Pat asked Mick what he was doing with himself at the moment. Mick told Pat that he was Studying at University College in Dublin.
"Jazuz." said Pat..."And what are you Studying?."
"Logic" replied Mick. "What's Logic?" said Pat.
"Well!" said Mick...."Do You Have a GoldFish?"
Pat: "I do!"
Mick: "So ..you probably have the Fish for your Kids!" Pat: "That's Right!" Mick:
"So.. Having Kids means your probably married...!"
Pat: "That's Right!"
Mick: "So Being Married means you're not a Homosexual!" Pat: "That's Right!"
Mick Explains that it was Logic that allowed him to figure all that out. The Boys say Goodbye and head off in different directions. An hour later, Pat meets his mate Shamey!. After a while Shamey asked Pat had he seen Mick around. Pat explains that he met Mick only an hour ago.
Shamey said: "And what's old Mick doing with Himself?". Pat replies "He's studying at the University".
Shamey: "And What's He Studying?".
Pat: "Logic!" Shamey: "And What's Logic?"
Pat: "Let me Explain....Do you have a GoldFish?" Shamey: "I Do!"
Pat: "So you're not a Homosexual then!!!!"

Two Irishmen met and one said to the other,
"Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?"
Pat said, "Well, I have and I haven't."
His friend asked, "well what d'ye mean by that?"
Pat said, "It's like this, y'see...I saw a chap who I thought was Mulligan, and he saw a chap that he thought was me. And when we got up to one another...it was neither of us."

Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce? the solicitor questioned his client. Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge? Oh, no, replied Mrs. O'Connor. Sure now, we only have a carport. The solicitor tried again. Well, does the man beat you up? No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. I'm always first out of bed. Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. Well, does he go in for unnatural connubial practices? Sure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything about the connubial. Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on. What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have. "Bless you, sir. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds. Mrs. O'Connor, the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, you need a reason that the court can consider. What is the reason for you seeking this divorce? Ah, well now, said the lady, Sure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation.

Michael Mullens was in court for non payment of maintenance to his ex wife. The judge decided to increase his wife's allowance. So he told Michael I have decided to increase this allowance and give your wife 50 Pounds per week. Michael replied "you're a gentleman sir, and I might even send her a few bob myself.

Finnegan sold Clancy a donkey, three weeks later they met in Murphys pub and Clancy says "Hi Finnegan, that bloody donkey you sold me went and died" Finnegan just sipped his pint and chirped up."By jesus it never done that on me!!"

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