afternoon, Pat met Mick, whom he hadn't seen for quiet some time.
After chatting for a while, Pat asked Mick what he was doing with
himself at the moment. Mick told Pat that he was Studying at University
College in Dublin.
"Jazuz." said Pat..."And what are you Studying?."
"Logic" replied Mick. "What's Logic?" said Pat.
"Well!" said Mick...."Do You Have a GoldFish?"
Pat: "I do!"
Mick: "So ..you probably have the Fish for your Kids!" Pat: "That's
"So.. Having Kids means your probably married...!"
Pat: "That's Right!"
Mick: "So Being Married means you're not a Homosexual!" Pat: "That's
Mick Explains that it was Logic that allowed him to figure all
that out. The Boys say Goodbye and head off in different directions.
An hour later, Pat meets his mate Shamey!. After a while Shamey
asked Pat had he seen Mick around. Pat explains that he met Mick
only an hour ago.
Shamey said: "And what's old Mick doing with Himself?". Pat replies
"He's studying at the University".
Shamey: "And What's He Studying?".
Pat: "Logic!" Shamey: "And What's Logic?"
Pat: "Let me Explain....Do you have a GoldFish?" Shamey: "I Do!"
Pat: "So you're not a Homosexual then!!!!"
Irishmen met and one said to the other,
"Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?"
Pat said, "Well, I have and I haven't."
His friend asked, "well what d'ye mean by that?"
Pat said, "It's like this, y'see...I saw a chap who I thought
was Mulligan, and he saw a chap that he thought was me. And when
we got up to one another...it was neither of us."
Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce? the solicitor questioned
his client. Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge? Oh, no, replied
Mrs. O'Connor. Sure now, we only have a carport. The solicitor
tried again. Well, does the man beat you up? No, no," said Mrs.
O'Connor, looking puzzled. I'm always first out of bed. Still
hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. Well, does he go in for
unnatural connubial practices? Sure now, he plays the flute, but
I don't think he knows anything about the connubial. Now desperate,
the solicitor pushed on. What I'm trying to find out are what
grounds you have. "Bless you, sir. We live in a flat -- not even
a window box, let alone grounds. Mrs. O'Connor, the solicitor
said in considerable exasperation, you need a reason that the
court can consider. What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?
Ah, well now, said the lady, Sure it's because the man can't hold
an intelligent conversation.
Mullens was in court for non payment of maintenance to his ex
wife. The judge decided to increase his wife's allowance. So he
told Michael I have decided to increase this allowance and give
your wife 50 Pounds per week. Michael replied "you're a gentleman
sir, and I might even send her a few bob myself.
sold Clancy a donkey, three weeks later they met in Murphys pub
and Clancy says "Hi Finnegan, that bloody donkey you sold me went
and died" Finnegan just sipped his pint and chirped up."By jesus
it never done that on me!!"
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