Palefaces

Perhaps the grimmest case of Highland humour all on record, though its humour was not its main, feature, and only gleams out luridly in the ghastly ending, was that of Alan Macpherson, who, along with several other soldiers belonging to the Montgomery Highlanders engaged in the frontier war in Canada in 1757, fell into an ambush and was tortured by the Indians. In due time the horrible process began of putting the captives to death by slow torture, the “ palefaces “ being taken one at a time, and the others having to look helplessly on, awaiting their own turn. When Macpherson’s turn came, he made signs that he had something important to communicate. An interpreter having been found, Macpherson stated that if a little time were granted him before he was put to death, he would communicate the secret of an extraordinary medicine which, if applied to the skin, would cause it to resist for several hours the strongest blow of sword or tomahawk. He said that if they would send him a few steps into the wood, with a guard, to collect the plants proper for this medicine, he would prepare it and allow the experiment to be tried on his own neck by the strongest and must expert warrior
amongst them. His statement excited the wonder and keen curiosity of the Indians, and the Highlander’s request was immediately granted. He was sent with a guard into the woods, and soon returned with such herbs as he chose to pick up. Having boiled these herbs, he rubbed his neck vigorously all round several times with the juice. He then laid his head on a block of wood, and told the strongest man amongst them to take his tomahawk and strike as hard as he liked, and he would find that he could not make the smallest impression.

One of the most powerful of the Indians was selected for the task, who, levelling a blow with all his might, cut with such force that the head of the Highlander flew off to the distance of several yards.There was a moment’s pause, and then the Indians’ eyes were opened. They looked at one another in blank amazement at their own credulity, and the clever way in which their prisoner had hoaxed them and escaped the lingering death prepared for him. Instead, however, of being enraged at his having
slipped so easily through their fingers, they were so
struck with admiration at his ingenuity and resource,
that, by way of testifying to it, they exempted the
remaining prisoners from further cruelty.

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